y eldest son is finally a licensed driver! I was so anxious as I waited for him to come back from his driver's test. "Would he pass, or fail?" I pondered that question as I paced back and fourth on the sidewalk outside of the organized chaos of the DMV. That question hung over me like a dark cloud. No. Rather it was just a cloudy day. Earlier we had pulled up to the spot where we had to wait for his driving instructor to appear. I was giving him final instructions, cautions, and encouragement when the door finally opened. My heart sank. He had gotten the tough instructor, of course. Out of the three instructors, there are two who are renown for being a little more lenient. Did he get either of them? No way Jose! I was asked to leave the car, then he was drilled on his hand signals and the car was checked for its light functions, and then off he went with Brunhilde riding shot gun.
He finally pulled into the parking area after what seemed like ages. I thought to myself, "I bet he failed - that's why they are still in the car, she's telling him everything he did wrong and why he failed. Be strong boy, we can try again in a couple of weeks." Then his door opened, I braced myself. He got out of the car, and he turned to me and I held my breath. Then to my amazement, he flashed me his confident grin that erased all my fears-- elation replaced sorrow! He passed! I could breath again. Then I found my joy was suddenly tainted with sorrow once more. Oh no, he passed! Now that meant I probably will hardly ever see him. Blast! He now has the official documentation to be out on the road without his parents -- without me --sniff. Now who's going to protect him from all of the crazy Southern Californian drivers? Then I remembered that the Lord is perfectly capable of watching over my son, after all, He is the one who lent him to me in the first place.
Truly the ups and downs; the bitter-sweetness of being a parent is not for the faint of heart, that is why I'm truly amazed that I've made it this far without the need of tranquilizers. But for crying out loud, just last week, we brought him home from the hospital, now he's driving? What happened? It can truly be said that time is funny stuff. Why does time seem to drag on, while it also seems to fly by almost simultaneously? How is this physically possible?
Now then, as if getting his licence wasn't enough of an emotional roller coaster for me to endure, now he's in college. Last Sunday, the revelation that he was no longer a baby rudely hit home. We were at the breakfast table when I said to him,
"When are you starting school again?" I fully expected him to say next week.
"Tomorrow mom.", was his matter of fact reply.
"Tomorrow?!", I gasped looking at him in wide eyed disbelief.
"Yes mom, tomorrow.", he said flatly, a little annoyed that I had forgotten --again.
"But, I'm not ready!" I gasped, looking at him in desperation.
He smiled sympathetically.
It was true, I was not ready, and I'm still not quite ready for him to grow up. In my defense, this month has hit me hard with many milestones thrown at me in quick succession. First I was pelted with my son turning 18, then another stone was hurled my way when he got his driver's license, and then his entering college blindsided me with yet another stony thud. Wait a minute, wasn't it just yesterday that I hugged him tightly in my arms, and then took his little hand in mine to reassure him, as I led him through the doors of kindergarten? Yeah, I'm sure it was just yesterday. Oh well, time marches on in its strange space time continuum sort of way. I'm sure there is an equation to explain this conundrum of the way time works, and my son will probably learn it in his physics class, and maybe he will be able to explain it to me. But until then, I have to be more determined to be ready for what lies ahead. I can't be caught off guard like that anymore, quite frankly it's embarrassing, and darn near childish of me.
Let's see now, what comes next? College graduation. His courting and engagement to a lovely [I hope Christian] young lady. Getting married. Having children. Yeah, I can handle that, right? Sure I can, as long as these things come my way in the right order and at the right pace, so I can catch them rather than letting them hit me between the eyes. Yes, dear reader, with the Lord's grace and my husband's help, I'm determined to shape up and to be emotionally prepared for whatever lies ahead, come what may.