I heard my ENT say those awful words on the evening of May 16,2016. My heart sank into my stomach and my head began to swirl, so it's a good thing that I was sitting down when I took his call. Hearing that you have cancer is not what anyone ever wants to hear from their doctor, and you never think it will happen to you, right? Cancer is instantly life changing.
I was silent for a while. I mean, even though I had a sizable lump on the left side of my neck, I had no cancer symptoms to speak of, and my blood work was clear, and so I was assured by my doctor that all was well, even after the two previous needle biopsies came back inconclusive. Those very same lack luster needle biopsy results warranted the incisional biopsy to remove the lump, and those results were now giving a much different, and a far more serious diagnosis.
"Do you have any questions," the calm voice asked after my long awkward silence. My mind was a blank. I heard myself say, "No, not at this time." i mean really, who has a ready list of questions after being blindsided by a diagnosis that wasn't even in view? Then Dr. K said he had an endocrinologist appointment lined up for me, and that I would also be consulting with a colleague of his in a few days regarding another surgery, which I must say, was really proactive of him. And that, as they say, was that.
I met with Dr. O (Dr. K's colleague) about a week later. After he stuck a tiny probe up my nasal cavity, and down into my throat (very uncomfy), to see if my thyroid or the cancer had invaded my vocal cords, it was determined that all was well on that front. Any interference of the thyroid cancer on my vocal cords would mean the possibility of losing my voice, and that would be catastrophic for someone like me, who likes to hear the sound of her own voice! He then proceeded to tell me his plan of action. From here on, the details are going to get a bit dicey, sorry, my memory isn't that great thanks to my malfunctioning thyroid.
Dr. O's Plan
My Complaint Re: Modern Allopathic Medicine
Let me be clear, I didn't then (and don't now) fear the surgery itself. Dr. O seems to be a very confident, and skilled surgeon. What scares the H-E- double toothpicks out of me is the decades of after care (or lack there of) that I was facing! The endocrinologist I visited only added to my fears. She was the typical, "I don't listen to my patients, they are here to take orders from me" kinda doctor. NO! THANKS! Even though I know she's not the only endocrinologist in the group, I wondered if that kind of attitude is the rare exception. No. Apparently, it's the norm, just going by the dozens of desperate souls searching in vain for a good endocrinologist that listens to and works with their patients.
Not one doctor that I went to for help took my suspicion, symptoms, or complaints seriously. Well, that's not completely true, there was one. Dr. N, after looking at my blood work results, he actually voiced his wonderment as to why I was deficient in Vitamin D3, and B12. But instead of naturally following through that question with investigation, he literally shrugged it off, and gave me a B12 shot and a prescription for some D3 pills. As for my Free T4 level and TSH being on the low side of the mystically determined normal scale, well, it was after all barely in the normal range. I was this close (itty bitty pinch) to getting help, and that was two years ago. Come to find out, the Free T4 and TSH tests aren't enough and are misleading. The better test is Free T3, or better yet, RT3 (reverse T3) but I didn't get either of those. See how knowledge is power? I didn't know this back then, so I got screwed.
Specialization. Medicine's Double Edged Sword
Vitamin deficiency, you say? Bah! Your doctor believes what the pharmaceutical companies tell him, which is that vitamins don't work.
Your glands, or nervous system may not be working, you say? Bah! According to your GP, you're just
- stressed (in need of Valium)
- an emotional basket case (in need of Prozac)
- or a hypochondriac (you're crazy).
"May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears."
- Nelson Mandela
Choosing Hope, Not Fear
Even though that's great news, let's be honest. Technically, remission doesn't mean you're cured, it simply means the cancer is temporarily inactive. And so, there is a dark and heavy cloud of fear that remains in the distance. Will it reactivate, or "come back"? Or will it metastasize? Or will yet another type of cancer be found with in the medical industries magical five year time frame? The odds are against you for being fully cured in the world of allopathic medicine, which is designed to milk your insurance dry before you leave this world.
But, going by the testimony of some of those who have gone before, ten years is just a number they throw out there, it's not necessarily the norm. However, there is an even darker side to all of this that goes unmentioned. There are people who have taken their doctor's advice, and have had their recommended procedure done, who NOW wish they
would have never done it, because now their poor quality of life leaves them wishing that they would have die! How awful is that? Very!!!
Fear and an incredible lack of treatment options leave many desperate souls with little, or no other choice than to live the rest of their miserable lives as one of the living dead. Call me selfish if you must, but I don't want to live the life of a zombie!
Thanks to an eyeopening video series, that I came into contact with via a friend(thanks Kc!)) called The Truth About Cancer - A global quest, I have been given the great gift of hope! This amazing series details where the debilitating modern cancer treatments came from, who continues to propagate them and why, and what you can do to stop the fear, and make a better choice of life saving cancer treatments that effect real cures. Yes, I said REAL CURES, as in no more cancer, unlike remission! This sounds too good to be true, right? Is it?
Well, let's be real. Just as is the case with the brutal cures that modern western medicine offers, there is NO guarantee that any of the natural based cancer cures will work on everyone, all of the time. There are limiting factors such as:
- being too far gone
- unique physiology
- not following prescription instructions
- negative emotions
- and ego
Nevertheless, there are many real life testimonies of cancer patients who according to their oncologists are "walking miracles," because they shunned surgery, radiation and chemo in favor of a holistic cancer cure. Cures that use proven cancer fighting vitamins, minerals, herbs, and therapies. The information is out there, but many doctors do not have the time to read the material, and even if they did, the chances are that their big pharma sponsored education, and lecture circuit indoctrination would override much of those peer reviewed studies supporting more natural approaches. Besides, there's not as much money to be made in natural cures. God (not men) holds the patents on nature.
I knew he wouldn't be thrilled with a holistic approach, so I needed some ammunition in the form of information to help get him on the same page I was on.
And so I finally lost it! I literally went around our home SCREAMING at the top of my lungs that NO ONE was listening to me! I sobbed and swore, and raged on and on about how only I KNEW what it felt like to live in my body...etc. I even hurt my shoulder during the violent fit I was throwing, because I had finally had enough! About twenty years of pent up frustration and rage spewed out of me in a matter of minutes. I was going to be heard, even if it meant the neighbors two blocks down heard me, I didn't care! It must have been quite a scene!
(On a side note: Later that week, when I sheepishly told our neighbor across the street why I was yelling like a fool, she said that she didn't hear anything. Well, at least I got through to my husband!) After my hellacious fit, Robert dutifully read everything I gave him and after many questions, I got what I wanted-- my man, the love of my life, on MY side where he belonged. Before anyone thinks that I bullied him, you don't know my man, he has a mind of his own. But now he knows what I know, and knowledge sets you free from ignorance and fear.
Are there risks with going holistic? Of course there are risks! This is the real world, but there are also HUGE risks going conventional. Are there quacks out there in holistic land? Of course there are. But there are QUACKS in white lab coats with medical licenses in allopathy land too; every hear of malpractice law suits?
And so the final decision was made, not out of fear, but out of hope. We will be going across the border to Mexico, to the BioMedical Center. And once there, I will be examined by real medical doctors, who have real medical nurses assisting them, with real medical tests they preform on real medical equipment. I will receive a personalized treatment plan that involves a cancer tonic and medicinal herbs, and diet. A holistic treatment that I would never be offered here in America, one that will give me a fighting change to cure the cancer, and maybe even get my thyroid to function properly, Lord willing. But we also have a back up plan, because I am not irresponsible. If for whatever reason the holistic treatment doesn't yield any improvement (I'll give it a year), then I will have their surgery and take their pills. Then if I perish (live like a zombie), I perish (I live like a zombie). Both I and my darling husband can live with that.
Can some one prove to me unequivocally that petroleum based medicines are far better than plant based medicines? If vitamin and mineral supplements don't do any good whatsoever, then why even mention them as being important in our food supply? And why is there a danger of overdosing on them, if there is no potency to them? That would imply there is such a thing as under dosing too, wouldn't it? If diet and nutrition play no role in healing, much less maintaining a healthy body, then why not eat a ton of sugar and triglycerides all day, everyday for the rest of your life?
Despite the maddening hypocrisy that doctors spew, diet does indeed play a huge role in human health. But a healthy diet and supplements won't do you a lick of good, if can't properly digest them. So, you aren't really what you eat, rather you are what you digest. And that is of course, another topic!
Though my cancer is not as life threatening as say, stage four pancreatic cancer, I do have the blessing of a longer time frame, and I am going to spend it as wisely as I can.
It makes absolutely NO SENSE to take the napalm approach in my situation, when I have time for a kinder and gentler approach. They can always cut out my thyroid and lymph nodes, and burn my innards with radioactive iodine, but I won't be able to get those parts back after they are gone.
Doubters Will Doubt
Modern western medicine scoffs at the existence of an Almighty creator God, and they insult him with the fairy tale of evolution, yet they fumble around half blind in the dark, grasping at straws trying to figure out how to aid the healing of the LORD God's most awesome work of creation, the human body. And even then, their well meant (yet piddly) attempts often leave behind more damage and cause more harm then the original ailment, and all for the love of money. The more I read on the complexity of how our bodies work, the more in awe and humbled I become. We are truly fearfully, and wonderfully made!
For now, (for the most part) I'm on the special diet that the clinic prescribes. I eat only three squares a day, no snacks. I consume as much whole organic veggies, fruits and clean meat as I can (no pork!). No white flour or sugar, no soy (estrogen is a problem in my case), no preservatives and low salt. That one is a killer for me! I will put my self fully on the diet, which eliminates tomatoes and vinegar specifically, once I start the tonic. Apparently those specific items interfere with the tonic's potency. I can certainly live without a few food stuffs for a while to help facilitate my healing. But I will miss you most of all, salt and bacon!
I will be writing much in the coming months about my journey toward wellness, and healing. My thoughts on the diet, nutrition, supplements, how the treatment is going, etc. All will be chronicled here. So please stay tuned!