clinic, and so naturally, I've been dragging my feet about writing this post. Yes, to be honest, I feel a little defeated. Instead of the tumor shrinking like it was supposed to, my tumor grew a bit, and so did my thyroid. What the?? I've been reassured by the doctor that sometimes this happens, the tumor grows a little and then the cancer starts shrinking again. Okay, that is still hopeful news; as for why my thyroid grew? I'm at a loss, and so was my doctor, except to say that I may have to have the left lobe removed after all.
Not the news I wanted to hear, but that's life. The doctor said we need to be a bit more aggressive, which involves changing my tonic to the non-iodine formula, as the iodine may be affecting my thyroid negatively. Okay, I'll try it. And she added 500 mg of laetrile. As for my diet? I'm dragging my feet on changing my diet to be more vegetarian. At least I'll lose more weight in the process, that's the only positive I can really think of right now. I just don't buy into the idea that vegan diets cure cancer. And to be honest, I'm just very lazy about my diet. Meaning, I'd rather read all day, or do anything else, than make food for my special diet. Frankly. it's a pain in the butt. Oh to have my own personal chef! Back to reality...
After the usual exchange of pleasantries, we got down to brass tacks. I objected to the conventional treatment and told him that I've read many articles that reveal that Papillary thyroid cancer is over treated here in America, according to European doctors, and this common sense approach is even reaching the ears of some American doctors.
He listened and then got on his smart phone. I was silent while he typed on his laptop and then surfed the net with his phone. He told me in a rather surprised tone that they do give PSA tests to thyroid patients these days, so he was more open to requesting it. Yay! He said the insurance company might still shoot down the request (and they did). Boo! I asked him if I could just have the enlarged and cancerous left lobe removed, and he looked incredulous at me and snorted, "You are going to have a hard time finding a surgeon who will do it, they will think you're crazy!" I smiled and said, "That's okay, I can live with that."
While I gave my doctor my reasons for not giving in to the treatment status quo, he appeared to be mildly amused with my insistence on not going the conventional route. Then after a little while, with a wry grin he said, "You're a fighter." I couldn't tell if he was making fun of me, or it he actually admired me a little. Maybe both. I thought about it for a few seconds and said defiantly, "Yes! I guess I am." He finally agreed that my type of thyroid cancer is not the aggressive life threatening kind, and that I'm justified in not wanting to go conventional. Wow! Finally some empathy. Then he gave me a referral list of endocrinologists and gave me the blood tests I wanted, and that was that. Now I have to try and find a doctor on the list that will work with "crazy" me! So far, the search isn't going so great, just another medical hurdle to jump over. I was never good at jumping over hurdles, by the way. I guess I better start mastering that sport!
My darling husband is still worried, of course, and so he watches me like a hawk. If I rub my neck, or scratch it, there's that look. He wants to know what to do if my growing thyroid threatens my wind pipe before we can find a surgeon that will only remove my diseased left lobe, then what? What if I wake up in the middle of the night gasping for air? I told him to tell the EMT's my condition, that the left lobe of my thyroid is enlarged, and to not let the emergency surgeon remove my entire gland, under pain of lawsuit. He didn't look happy. Then he asked me to write down what I wanted, so he could have it in his wallet. I called for my eldest son who was in his room at the time. I asked him if he know what to do. He said, "Yes." That's my boy -- a steady rock of strength in the face of troubled waters! Then he looked at his father and calmly added, "You better write it down for dad."